Lani Starkey once sold rice on the streets of a Chinese village with her grandma. Now she is the face of a global haircare campaign.

After First Dates Australia, she vanished for a decade. She came back as a creator, got noticed by Chanel at 888 followers and, at 35, landed her first campaign with NAK Hair. Here’s how.

THE STORY

1. You arrived in Australia at ten with almost no English. What did that time teach you about confidence that you still use today?

I grew up in a rural village near Jiamusi, China and I helped my grandma sell rice on the streets. At 10, I moved to Bomaderry a small town on the South Coast of New South Wales. I went to Bomaderry Public School and Bomaderry High School. I wasn’t a confident girl growing up. I was often told not to dream too big, to know my place, to keep my head down and just follow orders. When you hear those things enough, you can start to believe them yourself. Moving to a new country was a huge change. Everything was new to me. I barely spoke English and I remember feeling quite out of place. I had to learn a new language, make friends and navigate the differences between two cultures. Those experiences taught me that other people’s limiting beliefs don’t have to become my own, and that I don’t have to feel confident before trying something new. Sometimes you have to take that first step while you’re scared, and the confidence comes afterwards. I still have moments of self-doubt, but I’ve learned to believe in myself and surround myself with people who encourage me to grow. At the end of the day, I get to decide who I want to become, and I trust myself to figure things out along the way.

2. Your First Dates episode was the highest rating of the series, then you stepped away for a decade. What made you walk in the other direction, and what were those years actually spent on?

I’ve always been someone who likes to go with the flow of life. When I appeared on First Dates Australia at 24, I was lost and figuring out what I wanted to do. I didn’t have a clear direction, so I stepped away from the spotlight and gave myself the freedom to explore. I feel like my life has been a bit like Forrest Gump! I’ve done so many seemingly unrelated things because I’ve always been curious and willing to say yes to life. I graduated from the University of Sydney with a Bachelor of Commerce, but I never worked in the corporate world. I went on to study at the National Institute of Dramatic Art (NIDA) because I loved learning. I also tried my hand at a beauty-tech start-up, and travelled and worked various jobs. Later, I became a mother and spent a few years raising my son Will and caring for my younger sister Fleur as her legal guardian. I didn’t have a grand plan at the time, but looking back I’m glad I gave myself that freedom. Every experience taught me something and helped shape who I am today.

3. Chanel featured you at 888 followers, two months into creating. What do you think they saw?

I honestly have no idea. I remember waking up to a notification from Chanel and thinking, ‘Wait, what is happening?’ I had to take a screenshot because I couldn’t quite believe it. I’d only been creating content for about two months, so it was completely unexpected. I’ve always admired Coco Chanel’s independent spirit. She was bold, unconventional and a visionary who wasn’t afraid to forge her own path. I’d like to think they saw someone who genuinely loves being creative and was putting her heart into it. It was such an encouraging moment. Being noticed so early on gave me the confidence to keep going, and that moment eventually opened the door to modelling.

4. Your journey as a creator unexpectedly led you into modelling at 35. How did that come about, and what was it like shooting your first global campaign with NAK Hair Australia?

My mum did commercial modelling when she was younger, but growing up I was teased for being Asian, and I didn’t see women who looked like me in the media. I didn’t think I was beautiful, so modelling wasn’t something I ever pictured myself doing especially not at 35, as a mum. When I started creating content, it was simply a hobby. Then Chanel featured me, I began collaborating with global beauty brands and not long after, a modelling agency approached me. I signed with them, and it all happened so quickly. What made the NAK Hair campaign even more surreal was that it was my first modelling job. Suddenly, I was on this huge set with more than 30 people, working alongside models who had years of experience. I was nervous and excited at the same time, but everyone made me feel so welcome. I was trying to take it all in while making sure I did a good job. The team was incredible, and I learned so much from that first shoot. I think it’s a reminder that what’s meant for you won’t pass you by. Life takes you somewhere you never imagined, and you just have to be open to seeing where it leads.

5. Take us through your real morning routine. Not the version for the camera, the actual one.

My mornings usually start with green tea and a scoop of creatine, followed by 30 minutes of cycling. I like to close my eyes and meditate while I cycle. Then I pack my son’s lunchbox and get him ready for school. Once he’s off to school, I sit down at my computer to get a little work done before making breakfast. It’s usually oats with fruit or avocado and eggs on sourdough toast, topped with nutritional yeast. Then I make my first coffee of the day and head out for my hot girl walk, about 40 minutes outside to get some fresh air and sunshine. When I get home, I shower, do my skincare, hair and makeup, get dressed and settle into work for the day.

6. What is the one product you will repurchase for the rest of your life, and the one you have finally given up on?

I’d have to say prescription tretinoin. It’s one skincare product I keep coming back to, and I can see it being part of my routine for years to come. As for what I’ve finally given up on, it’s fad diets. I’ve tried them in the past, but they’re not sustainable. I prefer a balanced approach to eating. A roughly 75% nourishing foods and 25% indulgence works best for me. I still enjoy the foods I love without overthinking it.

7. What changed about your skin, and your approach to it, between 25 and 35?

Honestly, I haven’t noticed a dramatic change in my skin between 25 and 35. The main difference is volume loss in my face, which has made my features look more refined. What’s changed more is how I care for my skin. In my twenties, I focused mainly on my skincare routine. At 35 I’ve started incorporating treatments like skin needling and PRP under my eyes, which weren’t really on my radar when I was younger. I’m more focused on looking after my skin for the long term and embracing the changes that come with age.

WELLNESS

8. What does wellness look like on an ordinary Tuesday for you, school run and all? And what have you stopped doing in the name of wellness that you feel better without?

I’m lucky enough to have an infrared sauna at home, so I love spending about 30 minutes in there with a book or meditating while listening to binaural beats. I also love lifting weights, alternating between leg days and upper-body days. I have a reformer at home, so on days when I’m not lifting I’ll jump on that for a pilates session. Spending quality time with my family and calling my sister for a good chat are just as important as exercise. One thing I’ve stopped doing is cold showers and ice baths. I know some people love them, but I find them quite a shock to my system. I’ve been learning more about Traditional Chinese Medicine and its emphasis on warmth, balance, and that approach resonates with me. I feel better choosing gentler ways to unwind.

PERSONAL STYLE

9. How do you dress when nobody is shooting you? Describe the uniform.

I’m pretty low-key in my everyday life. Most days you’ll find me in activewear. I love Lorna Jane, Alo, CSB, LSKD, Muscle Nation, Velocity and Echt. Otherwise I’m at home in my Bonds underwear or pyjamas from Peter Alexander, Kmart, Target or Big W! If I’m running errands my go-to is a pair of jeans or shorts with a simple tank top, because Queensland weather has a way of humbling you. I love dressing up and appreciate beautiful designer pieces, but I’m just as happy wearing affordable clothing. I think that reflects my humble beginnings and who I am today. Personal style is how you put things together and how confident and comfortable you feel in what you’re wearing, not how much it costs.

10. You wore Common Hours to AFW and Christopher Esber to MFF. How do you decide what a moment like that calls for, and what are the three things in your wardrobe you would run back into the house for?

For events like AFW and MFF, I love putting together a mood board and drawing inspiration from icons and looks from the past. Then I put my own spin on it. Fashion is a chance for me to have fun, be creative and step into a different alter ego for the night. The three things I’d run back into the house for? My mum’s vintage leather jacket, which has sentimental value, my Chanel Classic Mini Flap bag, a timeless piece I can wear with almost anything, and my Seafolly swimmers because I’m always ready for a day at the beach.

WHAT’S NEXT

11. You are planning to be the first mother to compete at Miss Universe Australia, and your line is “true beauty blossoms through self-love and inner confidence.” What does that look like on a day when you are not feeling it?

I’d love to represent mothers on the Miss Universe Australia stage one day. I think mothers contribute so much to our families and society, yet the work we do often goes unseen and undervalued. I also want to challenge the idea that women have an expiry date. We’re not defined by our age and our background, and I believe we should be free to pursue our dreams at any stage of life. Self-love and inner confidence don’t mean feeling good about yourself every single day. When I catch myself being self-critical or falling into the comparison trap, I remind myself how far I’ve come. I’m a girl from the village and everything I get to experience now feels like a blessing. On the days when I don’t feel confident I try to be kind to myself, show up and give my best anyway. And if faking confidence doesn’t work, I think of Forrest Gump. He reminds me that my self-worth isn’t measured by my looks, intelligence, wealth, status, achievements, or by what other people think of me. I just need to stay authentic, be true to myself and keep moving forward. And if all else fails, I get a good night’s sleep. I’m always surprised by how much more confident I feel in the morning!